BlogYYY
Sunday, April 06, 2008,1:06 AM
what if?
Okay here am I blogging again.
Working life is such a boring life. Contradicting? No! Imagine yourself working day in day out . What's the purpose of working? It's such a routine thing where you sleep, wake up to a new day and work. Sleep again and the cycle just repeats itself. I have been for a month half now. And I have entered shift work. So it's alternate weeks afternoon. As for morning shift, I got to work halfday on Saturday. It's such a mental torture for me to work. I missed out a lot of luxuries when I started working. Like: getting allowance from my mother, waking up late, shopping (but as if I always go out to shop). But nevertheless, after I have started working, I'm more willing to spend on things I want. Work so hard, earn money, never pamper myself a bit 'dui bu qi' myself right? Hahaha.. Anddddd.... I'm more willing to go out. Hahaha, I will jump at the chance to go out man. Since I'm working everyday, and I faced the lab and Jurong Island atmosphere for more than 12 hours a day if i got OT, who won't want to take a break and go out? LOL.. So people out there, called me out when you are remind of me ok? Or else every available seconds and minutes are spend cosying with my blanket sleeping. Have been thinking about those what if questions. What if:1) I didn't take Chemical and Pharmaceutical technology as my course?2) I took Fashion Design as my course?3) My O level result was even better? After those non-realistic what if questions, I started thinking about why:1) Why didn't I put in more effort in studying during my poly life?2) Why did I continue working in my attachment company? When I know I want to work in a process line? Stupid me. But I'm just trying to gain some work experience. Try out if I am really suited for lab environment. But till now there is still no answer. I have applied for the NUS part time degree for Chemical Engineering. Hope I need not sit for the entrance exam. If i need to sit for the entrance exam, math is going to be the weapon responsible for my death. Hahaha. And people like tree, st those pro in maths are going to get very irritated with me for calling them. Hahahahha.. Isolating myself and emo-ing have been a favourite past time of mine since I don't think I have any close friends who I can share my thoughts with. Seriously I think keeping everything to myself is a torture. I tend to overthink about things and ended up feeling very low. As I say putting up a smile is my forte. It's my way of hiding all the unhappiness in me. Sometimes I may feel happy when thinking back, when was I really happy for once? I think the only period of time was during sec 4. How I wish I can turn back time and reverse everything. I am destined to be a person wothout any true confindent